3 Years After

Mom, I think you know it. As time goes by, I kinda accept the fact that you are no longer with us. It sounds mean maybe, and I'm afraid that I'm getting used to do this, but doesn't that how grief works? I still think of you, in fact, every time I look at my friends and their mom, I can't stop your face from popping into my head :) and can't help feeling a sliver of hurt on my heart. You are no longer here, and whatever interactions that they have together, are something that I have to bitterly swallow. It's just a wishful thinking, after all.

But, I think I am coping with this better. Is that wrong? I always thought that I will be forever haunted by this loss, and indeed, to some degree, I still am. But, I think humans have the ability to cope with even the worst tragedy. And I think that's what I'm experiencing here.

It just gets better....

Wish that you could still be there with koko and Helen and your grand daughter, Kinerette Anka. Still think you've gone too soon mom. I haven't looked at her as well, but I know you'd love her. Now, in some nights, I wish I would receive a phone call from you, although I know what you're gonna ask anyway :) I think I'm afraid I'd forget how your voice sounds like.

I just looked at our pictures together, and somehow I never really pay attention to this one particular picture. I love it. Really want to take picture together with you again, later in heaven? How's life up there anyway? Life has been super good for me, but ah, you know I know that you know all anyway. So...

Happy anniversary again mom. Been 3 years. I am still surprised how time flies.