Appalachian Mission Trip with World Vision

Philippi, WV.

That's where we went for our 4 days and 3 nights mission trip. Philippi is located in the Appalachian region and with a sparse population of 3,000 residents, we joined World Vision to help this struggling small town.

Admittedly, each of us had different expectation about the town and the community that we would be serving, and what we saw there seems to defy all of our expectations. I guess we were still struggling to reconcile the definition of poor in the US compared to what we have brought up seeing in Indonesia. The family that we were serving seems to possess things that low-income Indonesians would be considered luxury: flat TV, fully stocked refrigerator, electricity, plumbing, and comfy bed.

However, this initial shock did not last long. We had a debrief the first night and took the chance to unite and align our perspective again to the Bible. God is teaching us that He does not discriminate any of the disciples when He washed their feet, including Judas. Thus, regardless of their poverty level, we were called to serve, and serve we will.

Our main goal is to finish painting one living room. First, we started the day getting to know Rosetta and her family (this is the family that we served), and quickly started to work. Before the wall can be painted, we needed to sand and chalk the wall. So majority of our time was spent doing these, while some of us (Eva, Upik, and Maria) were assigned to repaint another room.

During the course of three days, we slowly got to know Rosetta and her family. She shared how she was raised in a church, but hardships and disasters that came later in life pushed her away from believing in God. She could not understand why a loving God would put her in an alcoholic family and allow suffering to happen in her life: bankruptcy, medical bills, and many other calamities.

Despite the disappointment, she also shared how she was touched by the kindness of World Vision and all the volunteers who had come to help her renovating her house. Teared up, she confided that she was not ready to accept Christ yet, but all these gospel-adorning activities by Christians around her definitely softening her heart.

One personal memory with Rosetta was when she invited all of us to watch her son's football match. We were more than thrilled to take part in this family event and quickly agreed to attend. We arrived at the field, her brother insisted on paying all of our tickets (such an act of generosity) and we all sat down together cheering the home team. That game was a special moment because at that point, I believe we were bonded deeper when all of us cheering and shouting together for her son. No label, no presumption, no I-am-the-volunteer, and no I-am-the-poor, just people having fun together over a game.

The last day of service, we started out with a morning devotion from John 13 about Jesus washing the disciples' feet. We meditated on Jesus' servanthood: that He loves in spite of who the disciples are (no discrimination, including Judas), in spite of what He is facing (single focus to serve although He would be crucified the next day), and in spite of who He is (King).

Then, we painted the outside of the house and by the end of the day, we finished painting two sides of it. Quite an accomplishment. For our last dinner, Rosetta and her family came to our campground. It was truly a delight to have her over, and we discovered that she was a very friendly and sociable person. We thanked God that during the course of three days, the ice had melted, the racial and demographic gap had been bridged, and a memorable friendship was built between Rosetta and us.

As I looked back over the experience, I, and I'm sure I'm speaking for the whole team, was truly blessed by this trip. First, it is true what the Bible said that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35) and we experienced that first-hand. Not just the acts of service, but the satisfaction from being a blessing and to do this in the context of friendship and fellowship. Second, it humbled me: that my life is undeservedly blessed, that I complained more than I need, and I give thanks less than I should (we also had a no-complaint rule during the trip :) ). Third, God's unconditional love is far more radical than I imagined. Love views the world in opaque: no cultural, racial, socio-economic black and white and ultimately, demanding no response.

All in all, thanks to World Vision, Kris (the coordinator), and Rosetta and her family for the experience. Hopefully we can come back next year, with a different team!!

The Team, Rosetta (in pink), her husband and children, and Kris (in orange) from World Vision

Breaking Bad - How It Will End?

How a docile and harmless chemistry teacher turns into a ruthless drug dealer is what Breaking Bad all about. After being diagnosed with a cancer, Walter decided to cook crystal meth in order to provide for his family. Progressively, he descended into the abyss of moral destruction. The irony? This was after the factor that led him to "break bad" had disappeared: his cancer.

How this TV series would end is the one million dollar question. Whatever Vince Gilligan, the creator of Breaking Bad, has in mind, there are two moral complexities that need some resolution.

First, every action has its consequences. The idea of justice is ingrained in us and we are taught since child that consequences will follow. No crime goes unpunished. Revenge, is the default response whenever feelings or rights are violated. Thus, Walter has to face the ultimate judgment from all people whose lives and freedom he had raped for the pursuit of his drug empire. To let him off the hook seems to be offensively simple - a fairy tale.

On the other hand, some of us secretly wish that fairy tale does come true. We all know how dire circumstances awaken the Dr Jekyll in us, and the impossibility of extricating ourselves from the spiraling journey down. Part of us wish that forgiveness is not too much too ask; a jewel that the world can still readily dispense.

The reason Breaking Bad captures the heart of many viewers is because, to some degree, the story of Walter White is a story of us. It reveals a frightening nature of human. Given the right ingredients - power, absence of moral authority, wealth, duress - people "break bad".

I believe Breaking Bad is not a story about personal change, but about situational change. The more Walter's drug empire grows and the more obstacles he overcomes, the more convinced he is of his invincibility. His crime begets another crime, but the better he is at damage control, the more God-like he feels. Steadily, as the circumstances increase, he decreases. Under this escalating situational change, Dr Jekyll has totally overtaken Mr Hyde. It is this self-inflated Dr Jekyll who looks straight to his wife and says, "I'm not in the drug business, I'm in the empire business".

Breaking Bad runs on a frightening moral principal: every one of us can turn into season-6 Walter White. It shows, in a modern twist, what Philip Zimbardo had concluded in his famous Stanford Prison experiment: Dr Jekyll is not a hell of our own making, but a hell exist all along inside us.

At this point, no one knows how Breaking Bad is going to end, and I trust Gilligan will bring this challenging dilemma to a satisfying conclusion. Whether it would end with the idea of justice and love being mixed into a beautiful concoction still remain to be known. If yes, then Breaking Bad would be the closest tale of grace in today's modern culture - the return of the prodigal son, Walter White.

Insightful Quote

It doesn't matter, really, how great the pressure is, it only matters where the pressure lies. See that it never comes between you and the Lord - then, the greater the pressure, the more it presses you to His breast.

- Hudson Taylor

What does God die for?

People should learn to read the bible, that's my thesis. It is stated intentionally this early and this conspicuous because situation demands no other less. Yes, there are some parts of the Bible that admittedly need more dedication to interpret, but major doctrines like atonement or what I'm about to expound shortly is crystal clear, and any possible misinterpretation, I conclude, has nothing to do with its author, but everything to do with its interpreter.

God died for our sin, and it is our sin that he redeemed on the cross because it is sin that brings alienation between God and human. In case you miss the repetition, I'll repeat, it is sin sin and sin (read for yourself Romans 5:8, 1 Cor 15:3). But, what I hear so often from the mouth of the unwise is a very audacious extrapolation. He died for our disease, that he has win us over from the power of sickness and we can claim that promise from God. Hey, the cross has freed us from cancer, or heart disease, or HIV.

I have a problem with that statement simply because it distorts the main teaching of the bible. The trademark of a Christian is not the immunity from the evil in this world, but from the wages of sin, which is eternal death. Stemming from this false belief, people are given false hope. I wonder how many people buy into this promise, just to be disappointed later on with God once they discover that death is real and inevitable, yes, even for Christians. 

I have a problem with that statement because it doesn't hold water. It doesn't matter how many times a person is healed because of this belief,  they know at one point, healing will betray them and they will have to succumb to the reality of death. And if an absolute statement of "God will heal you because he has died for our disease" is proven wrong once, it is wrong no matter how many times it is proven true. It fails to be absolute, and exist to be a mere wishful thinking.

Clearly I have a problem with that statement because it it is my mom that we're talking about here. It is my mom who would be disappointed, it is my mom's mind that is being corrupted. And what makes the problem even more painstakingly ironic is that this can be evaded simply by paying more attention to the Bible. If only people learn to read the Bible, and let the Bible talk to them, we wouldn't have to face this problem.

Again, I'm not saying anything against healing or miracle, and I hope you can interpret from my writing that I'm not against it. If not, maybe you need to simply learn just to read, not only to read the Bible. And for those of you who still hold on to your own concoction of the Bible, I just wish that God also died not only for your sin or disease, but also for your folly and ignorance. May God listen to my plea. Amen.

Peace in Worship

It's an encouragement from the Lord this morning as I listened to a sermon from Tim Keller - couldn't be more timely and the context / topic couldn't be more right on.

How do we answer the question, how do we face distress and adversity with peace? The Bible is full of petitions to God asking for deliverance, healing, comfort etc and that is exactly what we did, and of course we should do it and in fact we did it. The Bible talks about it.

But, Psalm 57 talks about a different way to face this tough time with peace, which I through experience, should acknowledge to be true. It is through worship - utter amazement of God and God alone, the alpha and omega, the end in itself.

The psalmist, in the midst of all his valley and trouble, does not ask for God to change his situation. He asks for neither deliverance nor success nor victory - there's no petition at all. Instead, after he accounted and listed all his inventory of troubles, he exclaimed "Be exalted oh God, above the heaven; Let your glory be over all the earth". It is through worship that he calms himself, not through determination or loud petition. If the psalmist can find peace through this, so do we.

What are these compared to God's glory and majesty? What are these compared to grace? Everything pale in comparison to the salvation and hope that awaits us ahead. Thus, for me, I will bring this salvation that I have, present it daily to my very heart to get it appraised, to be reminded over and over again of its value, to let its glory shine before me so strong that all other problems, anxieties, and sufferings become a blip on my sight. So minuscule that they are easily overlooked. Yes, ignorable, brushable and neglectable.

"They say of some temporal sufferings, "No future bliss can make up for it", not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory" C. S. Lewis

Before the Morning - An Encouragement

This song has been such an encouragement for me and I hope it could be to you too. No matter how defeated or discouraged you feel, drag your heavy-heart out of the bed because in God, there is always a reason to sing. Get up and fight the good fight!!

Check out the story behind this song, super awesome - and the YouTube video.

Before the Morning - Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to

Feel the things that hurt you

If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see

And all those things are happening

To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling

It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light

Press on and just fight the good fight

Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling

It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends

You know where you’re going

You just don’t know how you’ll get there

So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God

But life is not a snapshot

It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory

All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing

Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling

It’s just the dark before the morning 

"They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory" - C.S. Lewis

Retract, Retreat, and Refuel

Take a 360 degree look at your surroundings and you will notice that we are bombarded by all these advertisements and articles which promise one ultimate thing:instant gratification. We are being taught to get everything in a split of a second, from losing 7 lbs in a week under the tutelage of Jennifer Aniston to getting an instant healing under the miraculous power of Benny Hinn.

Yes, we want everything now, and it has to be now. Why? Because we are told to be hurry, to follow the world's accelerating pace. I think it is just about time when one-minute microwavable food is not fast enough, and waiting 1.02 second for Google to display its search is a waste of time.

In contrary to the contemporary culture, The Bible teaches a very opposite approach. We frequently heard the exclamation "Hurry Up!", but The Bible tells us to slow down and be still in the Lord. When all the instant messages, email, text keep us occupied, The Bible urges us to slow down and reflect. The Bible teaches a very aberrant approach: retract, retreat and refuel. Retract from the noisy culture, Retreat to a quiet place, and Refuel your spiritual tank.


And with regard to that, I found the prayer of St Anselm to be profound and relevant, especially in times like this when people have to learn that is is okay to press the "esc" button, or it is even highly recommended to shut down your computer, your ipod, your blackberry, facebook notification to escape for a moment and listen to the voice of God.

Come now, little man, turn aside

for a little while from your daily employment,

escape for a moment

from the tumult of your thoughts

Put aside your weighty cares,

let your burdensome distractions wait,

free yourself awhile for God,

and rest awhile in Him.

Enter the inner chamber of your soul

shut out everything except God

and that which can help you in seeking Him,

and when you have shut the door, seek Him.

Now my whole heart, say to God,

"I seek your face,

Lord it is your face I seek."

St Anselm

The Untypical Birthday Greetings

A typical birthday greetings, anywhere in the world, contain the platitude "have a blast" or "wish you all the best" kind of happy smiley hopeful messages. Yes, people should share happiness on that special day; birds are singing, trees are dancing, and the universe joins in that joyous chime of festivity.

However, that was not the case for my birthday this year. As I learned about my mom's malady a day before I am entering the age 23 demographic, there was really not much to be happy for. Thus, it is interesting to note how the birthday messages that I got from my friends this year deviate from the normal common greetings.

Mostly taken from The Bible, all these messages brought comfort and console to my weary and chaotic heart. They do not hope for 'my wishes to come true' nor for me to smile 'on this special day', but they do promise strength and hope during this specific times of trouble. I found these to be profound and timely, and I can't help not to share these blessings with you

2 Chron 16:9

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 9:9-10

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Isaiah 54:10

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Psalm 121:1-2

I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

The Word Became Flesh

In retrospect, the year 2009 marks both the high and low points of my life: as my undergraduate journey reached its finish line this year, a new set of challenges presented themselves as I flipped open a new chapter of job and career. Struggling through the ordeal of setting my foot in the world of career, I found myself identifying with several characters in the Bible who faced similar doubt and anxiety just like me.

David in Psalm 55 was overwhelmed with anguish as his enemies intensely pursued him, and to his bewilderment, God remained silent. Job hit rock-bottom when God took everything away from him, and in his utmost agony, he cried to God "Do you have eyes of flesh? Do you see as a mortal sees?"

Just like these people, there were also many occurrences in my life where I doubt his wisdom. During my four months of job-search, I doubted whether he was in control over my predicament; I wondered if he accidentally overlooked my case and left me 'home-alone'. I doubted his sovereignty when he gave me the not-so-popular job in sales. I doubted if he understood me and had my best interest at heart when my job was being taken away from me. Sometimes I see myself as a puppet being controlled aimlessly by the puppet master, and when situation does not go as my script perceives, I second-guess his wisdom "Do you know what you're doing? You don't know what it's like down here!"

Thankfully, this Christmas has given me a new enlarged perspective, primarily as the antidote to all my doubts. Christmas is God loving, God stooping, God coming to the rescue. It is his descent, not my ascent to God; his initiative, not mine; his condescension to be relevant and approachable; his emptying of his deity to absorb grieve, pain, and anxiety. His incarnation provides answer to Job's accusation and mine "Do you have eyes of flesh? Do you know what it's like down here". Yes, for a time, God did.

And that is how Christmas provides solution for each of my ordeal; Christmas is the ultimate answer. I may not grasp his mysterious plan in my life yet, the future is still clouded with uncertainties and I will still waver in my unbelief and vacillate like a faithless child. But as I revisit the story of Christmas, I realize that the Father who sent his begotten son to ill-deserving people such as me is still the same Father who loves me today with the same love that put Jesus in a small manger as well as on the cross.

Two thousand years ago, at a small manger in Bethlehem, God has proven his love for me, and I can bank on that fact and rest assure that the same love will care for me today, tomorrow, or even the year after. Yes, amidst of all the uncertainties, his love is still in control and by looking at Christmas I can confidently says that my future is taken care of.

- Inspired by Grace Notes by Philip Yancey -

Living in a Fellowship - Ministry House

It was out of nonchalance that I decided to move in to the so-called Ministry House almost a year ago. Since then, I can confidently declare that the hasty decision is one of the life-changing decisions that I've ever made. It almost seems audacious to make such claim; that moving into a house of six could actually be such substantial, but here I am, sharing a tip of the iceberg of my experiences and elucidating why there is not even a hint of audacity on such claim but rather a very natural one.

Allow me to make a very circular argument by first stating that humans are not designed to be self-autonomous. In fact, we are hard-wired to be in a community, in a fellowship of self-giving and other-centeredness. To take a simple example, Christopher McCandless, an American adventurer, who has been living in solitude and an off-civilization life for three months, came to a realization of how unreal that kind of life was. On his last journal, he noted that "happiness is real only when shared".

That quote hit me hard. To some degree, I can identify with Christopher McCandless. I may not be fearless enough to go to live in Alaska, but once I dreamed of a secluded and solitary life for my retirement, far from the hustling and bustling of city life and friends or neighbors who constantly impose disturbances. Ministry house, in all its simplicity, debunks that belief; the virtue of independence that once I highly regard is now the object of of my derision.

Our God is a relational and communal God and since we are created in His image, we share those characteristics. Living with six brothers allows me to taste the sweetness of being in an other-centered fellowship and foretaste the beauty of heaven. Borrowing Tim Keller's image of divine love, in other centeredness love, "we enter into a dynamic orbit around him or her, we center on the interests and desires of the other". When six people revolve around one another with love, "that creates a dynamic, pulsating dance of joy and love." When I have been exposed to this higher standard, the idea of a solitary life seems too preposterous.

For example, when I was still doing my undergrad study, I voluntarily packed my schedule with back to back classes, sometimes even up to 9.30pm. Why? Because I draw my significance from the sense of accomplishment of achieving something beneficial that day, I bask in the glory of being effective and useful. However, the glory was short-lived. Once the satisfaction waned, I felt like there was something missing. The satisfaction could not fill a deeper void in my heart. My response, surprisingly, was incredulous; Instead of admitting that there's a problem to be fixed, I brushed it off and look forward to achieve something more tomorrow - more readings, more writings, more working out, etc.

Apparently, I was living out my individualistic lifestyle while striving forward to effectively achieve my goals and my sense of significance. On the outset, isn't this what all the business books adamantly preach - isn't this good - what's wrong with this picture? Ministry house helps me to see the answer, and it was found in each individual in the house. All of this while, I did not live up to my identity as a relational human being and voluntarily cut myself off from developing a close relationship with friends and brothers in the house.

However, living in the house where territory is undefined and all rooms are common areas, it is impossible to keep anyone at arm's length. People will come to my room to share and talk. I still remember several occasions where this happened; one or two people gathered together in the living room or anywhere, the conversation began to draw more people and it actually led to a very invigorating late-night conversation. The same thing goes to our weekly prayer meeting; I witness the fellowship of brothers in which people share their struggle, confess their sins, encourage one another - the conversation was just soaked with love.

Having experienced this, it is illogical to deny that a brotherly fellowship is much more satisfying and fulfilling. It helps me to have a closer and deeper relationships, it provides me with opportunities to practice God's love, and it gives me a fulfilling life. A life of love and being loved. Serve and being served. A life in which you can rest your head at night, and smile widely and gratefully just at the thought of how life can be so beautiful. A life with God.

Conquering Pride with Humility

C.S. Lewis, one of the most influential Christian writer of the twentieth century, once wrote that "the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. (It is) not only enmity between man and man, but enmity to God." (Mere Christianity, 1952)

The song from Casting Crowns entitled "Who Am I" elaborates a virtue that stands exactly in opposite with Pride: Humility. The song beautifully unpacks several facets of Humility and let the listeners to ponder upon the fact that Pride has stealthily crawled itself into the very center of humans' heart. Humility, in the way this song looks at it, is a God-centered manifestation to personally entrust oneself to the Most High through a growing appreciation of God's grace and an increasing understanding of humans' vice.

Firstly, the song starts out with a simple question "Who Am I?", and then goes at length to explain the extent of God's gracious deeds to the subject. Notice that the whole paragraph (all the entire song for that matters) maintains its focus on God, not on the subject; There is not even a sheer effort to explain the eminence and virtues that the subject may possess. Humility, seen from this light, is not self-centered; it does not marvel at what the self has done nor it basks in self-glory. Humility means the others take precedence. Add to that is the repetitive "Who am I" which really highlights the humility that the self has. It does not mean that one should think lowly of himself, but that even his proudest achievement or whatever factors one uses to define success pale in comparison with God's gracious and selfless deeds.

Secondly, the only explanatory effort on the subject is delivered figuratively and all portray the ephemeral and short-lived kind of life. It looks at how temporal the life that one has, that all accomplishments actually amounts to nothing in the end; it brings to attention how broken and flawed the misdemeanor that one commits on an ongoing basis. A flower would not gaze on its own beauty if it knew that tomorrow it would die or if it knew that apart from its carer, it is just a piece of worthless seed. Along the same line, humility involves admitting that one is nothing without God's gracious intervention and understanding that even with the temporal state-of-life, all accomplishments comes only from God whose hands mercifully and relentlessly shower the self with love.

Lastly, the song firmly ends with a personal declaration that "I am yours". After conceding that all iniquities and limitations render human helpless, one has literally no option beside surrendering faithfully to the firm and loving hands of God. It is also important to note that this is not a self-proclamation, the claim can only happen after God's initiative affirmation (and you've told me who I am), that He is the one who initiate to look and reclaim human back and that human is acting as the recipient of His loving action. Humility takes pride on the fact that one is not in control over a single thing, and that the only appropriate response to life is to rely on what God has done and to entrust one's whole being comprehensively.

In conclusion, the first step to counter Pride is through Humility, and this song exposes several facets of humility on which my sin nature most of the time still prevail. Humility involves diverting the mind from the self, marveling at God's grace, conceding one's wickedness and then entrusting life into God's unfailing love. I believe that this is what Jesus meant when he said in John 15:5,

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing."