Conquering Pride with Humility

C.S. Lewis, one of the most influential Christian writer of the twentieth century, once wrote that "the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. (It is) not only enmity between man and man, but enmity to God." (Mere Christianity, 1952)

The song from Casting Crowns entitled "Who Am I" elaborates a virtue that stands exactly in opposite with Pride: Humility. The song beautifully unpacks several facets of Humility and let the listeners to ponder upon the fact that Pride has stealthily crawled itself into the very center of humans' heart. Humility, in the way this song looks at it, is a God-centered manifestation to personally entrust oneself to the Most High through a growing appreciation of God's grace and an increasing understanding of humans' vice.

Firstly, the song starts out with a simple question "Who Am I?", and then goes at length to explain the extent of God's gracious deeds to the subject. Notice that the whole paragraph (all the entire song for that matters) maintains its focus on God, not on the subject; There is not even a sheer effort to explain the eminence and virtues that the subject may possess. Humility, seen from this light, is not self-centered; it does not marvel at what the self has done nor it basks in self-glory. Humility means the others take precedence. Add to that is the repetitive "Who am I" which really highlights the humility that the self has. It does not mean that one should think lowly of himself, but that even his proudest achievement or whatever factors one uses to define success pale in comparison with God's gracious and selfless deeds.

Secondly, the only explanatory effort on the subject is delivered figuratively and all portray the ephemeral and short-lived kind of life. It looks at how temporal the life that one has, that all accomplishments actually amounts to nothing in the end; it brings to attention how broken and flawed the misdemeanor that one commits on an ongoing basis. A flower would not gaze on its own beauty if it knew that tomorrow it would die or if it knew that apart from its carer, it is just a piece of worthless seed. Along the same line, humility involves admitting that one is nothing without God's gracious intervention and understanding that even with the temporal state-of-life, all accomplishments comes only from God whose hands mercifully and relentlessly shower the self with love.

Lastly, the song firmly ends with a personal declaration that "I am yours". After conceding that all iniquities and limitations render human helpless, one has literally no option beside surrendering faithfully to the firm and loving hands of God. It is also important to note that this is not a self-proclamation, the claim can only happen after God's initiative affirmation (and you've told me who I am), that He is the one who initiate to look and reclaim human back and that human is acting as the recipient of His loving action. Humility takes pride on the fact that one is not in control over a single thing, and that the only appropriate response to life is to rely on what God has done and to entrust one's whole being comprehensively.

In conclusion, the first step to counter Pride is through Humility, and this song exposes several facets of humility on which my sin nature most of the time still prevail. Humility involves diverting the mind from the self, marveling at God's grace, conceding one's wickedness and then entrusting life into God's unfailing love. I believe that this is what Jesus meant when he said in John 15:5,

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing."

3rd Evidence - My Dyptch Unveiled

Those of you who follow me on Twitter must be very familiar with my Dyptch Project, simply because I keep on buzzing and giving real-time report about what's going on with the project. Now that it is over, I can sit back, relax, and give comment on my own artwork. Well, this is the continuity of the Modulating Meaning assignment and Nature is still the big idea. Please observe this picture (they should be paired side by side, but for the sake of visibility, I separated them) and enjoy whatever emotions or ridicules that this picture may entail. 

As you see it, this is a comparison of good vs bad human nature, and each reflected in its effect to the environment. Humans have power over the environment and they can choose which side they want to engage, to which the environment hinges. 

First picture

1. The butterflies and flowers are preserved in the water drop, each still maintain its natural beautiful color.

2. The scene is desaturated, first, to give a soothing feeling and second, to show that the environment will never be preserved completely. Humans' destructive agenda is inevitable and thus, "black color" will always exist and will never be eradicated. However, some parts are colored to show that at least humans can choose to protect the environment and the beauty is visible to everyone - even stands out.

Second picture

1. Destructive actions from humans part result in chaos and distability in the environment. 

2. The butterflies are moving away from the chaos and flying towards the first picture, in hope to be preserved and protected.

3. Although the scene is colored, I hope you can feel that the color itself is sinister. It should disturb people's tranquility and contrasting it with the first picture, the effect is intensified. 

Blackberry? Not For Me.

"Sent via Blackberry"

"Sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry"

How often do you see those signature lines at the end of your friends' email? Yes, that's how ubiquitous Blackberry (or any other smart-phones) are. Promising omnipresent accessibility and connectivity, these phones draw massive attention and interest,  including mine. I have pondered several times to engage in this new technology, to which I decided not to. Why? Simply because I don't need another gadget to feed my dependency on the web. I know that I need to limit my "connectivity", and turning down Blackberry is one of the ways. 

I'm not an anti-technology person but I'm afraid that technology starts to creep and overtake my life. I wake up every morning just to be drawn automatically to my laptop. Resembling robot in so many ways, I go through similar routine: open my itunes, check emails, twitter account, and weather forecast. Imagine how lost I was when, in one occasion, the internet was not working; part of my chain activity was missing and I was left staring blankly at my laptop, clueless about the next course of action.

The idea of "connecting" wherever and whenever is always pleasant and there is nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, inordinate desire for unlimited access and connectivity has elevated technology from humans' assistance to master, from a complementary to a must-have item.

Long before the idea of smartphone was even crystallized, I had no problem checking my email once a week. Then, along with increasing accessibility (wireless internet, etc), grows an increasing "need" to check email everyday. Now, replying email at the second it pops up is the business norm. Look at the trend and see if we are using technology or if it is using us? I know myself and I know if I have a Blackberry, it will rob me from my ability to be alone and reflective, and to enjoy social relationship. 

My world with a Blackberry

I would have lesser time to be alone and find it harder to engage in a deep reflection whenever a train of thoughts presents itself. Having a Blackberry means I'm allowing all of those emails and facebook's notifications to divert my attention. I would also hardly devote my entire focus and time to talk with my friends during lunch. I would feel the rushing "urge" to check news or even play games. Having a Blackberry means I'm allowing more digital temptations to stand between a real face-to-face conversation. Basically, I would definitely be drawn constantly to be "connected" to the world out there, and ironically ignoring the world where I am actually live in. 

I would not dare to say that Blackberry is useless because it is not. It has come to my rescue when I need to immediately find information online. It could also reconnect me with my friends in Indonesia through its chatting features. However, as badly as I want to be reconnected at all time, I don't want to be disconnected from the real world as well. I have spent enough time connecting via laptop and I don't need a Blackberry to rob the remainder of my time. My Samsung Phone still serves its purpose perfectly and between these two choices, I draw the line. 

Why I Am Not an Artist - 2nd Evidence

I can remember clearly what got into me when I created this picture: Desperation! Truthfully, I had no idea what objects to put, let alone to understand the meaning of expressionism (this is an assignment about expressionism painting - don't ask me). 

While I painfully, restlessly and desperately writhed on my seat, I saw the person sitting next to me browsing through several skyscraper pictures. Well, I didn't have to look very far for an inspiration. Being left with no option, I  decided to "borrow" his skyscraper concept and used it in my picture. 

The rest of the objects (globe and background landscape) were totally random. If I were to be asked what's the meaning of this picture (and I'm super relieved that the teacher didn't), my jaw would drop. There was absolutely no meaning. Even if you ask the great Michaelangelo to concoct a meaning out of this picture, I doubt he can pull that off. Because who in the world could give meanings to such picture? Or let me rephrase the question: Who the heck would put a globe, skyscraper, and forest in one picture? Well, a knowledgeable artist will not, but a desperate and novice college student, apparently, will.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Briefly, this is a classic before-after retouching attempt. Every time I look at this picture, I can't stand to ridicule myself "Dude, this was supposed to be a retouching picture - to make her looks better - not an opportunity to create an extraterrestrial creature." Oh my, look at her "white" teeth. Her neck. Her skin. Did I mention her teeth?  Oh, what have I done???

Why I Am Not an Artist - 1st Evidence

I always feel that I have an undiscovered talent in art, and covertly believe that I am a prodigal artist yet to be found. After a lifetime full of curiosity, this quarter I decide to give that theory a try. Thus, here I am, taking ArtEdu252 class - an art class that uses Adobe Photoshop to produce imagery - for the purpose of learning Photoshop and confirming my presumption. However, after three weeks of pain and agony, I come to understand that my theory was based on reckless and irrational judgment. Here is why.

Modulating Meaning Assignment: I was supposed to, at least, convey some meanings through all of these images. My grand idea was to compare and contrast human nature: the good and the bad, and incorporated them in the context of environment. Humans have control over the environment, and the environment will react in response to humans treatment. Good human nature will result in nature revealing its utmost beauty while bad human nature usually entails destruction and disaster.

The problem is not about formulating the idea, but visualizing it in the form of pictures. And this is the best piece that I can come up with. My own critiques:

1. I don't know why, but Hitler looks so disproportionately modified. lol. I think I played with him too much.

2. I tried to make Hitler's background a little darker - to elicit a sinister feeling. Apparently, it didn't work.

3. Don't worry if the "monkey and tiger" picture, hanging over a mountain top, happens to bother you. Me too. I just didn't know what to do with it. I spent so much time cutting that picture and I want to make sure it was up there so everybody could appreciate and recognize my painstaking effort.

4. What's with the baby in the beach? No specific reason. I believe the baby, smiling innocently like that, evokes a positive feeling. So, I hope that the image will enhance people's liking or reduce people's annoyance, and hopefully lessen their probability to question the man behind the piece.

5. There were really no sophisticated techniques used in this piece. I just simply dumped all the pictures, moved them to and fro, played with opacity, hue, saturation and rotation. This is not an issue of complacency, but ineptitude.

6. I genuinely like the "evil" face in the polluted water. I think it is so creative of me. =) Not to mention the combination of butterfly with a forest background. Oh, and also the concept of rainbow with prominent figures representing each side. Beautiful? Yes, I think so too.

(to be continued, with more thought-provoking and mind-boggling pictures)

Five Reasons Why I Love Twitter

Hmmm, do we need any more reasons to use twitter? Since the Ashton vs CNN battle on twitter and the enormous coverage that it received, twitter's users have increased at an accelerating rate. And among these relentless influx of followers are celebrities like Oprah and Larry King. It's maybe a little bit too late to declare this, but twitter is the next big thing and now I'm telling you my reasons why I tweet. 

1. It satisfies my curiosity.

I always want to be in the loop, and twitter gives me access to my friends' daily activities - directly from them and (even better) without me having to beg.  It's like reading People magazine, only in real time. 

2. It gives me a glimpse of stardom.

I have 48 followers!! Hei, that counts for something, at least there are 48 "fans" who think that my tweets carry some weights. Well, maybe not to that extent, but at least it leads me to think that there are 48 people out there who care about what I am eating for dinner. And frankly, it feels good. 

3. It is a way to spread good news

Remember the last time you are so happy that you want the whole world to know? Well, you don't have to look very far now. Twitter allows you to have countless followers (Ashton, at this point, has 1.4millions followers) whom you can share your good news with. Get a raise? Tweet please!

4. It also allows my trivial annoyances / useless rambling to be heard.

Pretending to be smart can takes a toll on me, and often times, my foolish nature comes to materialize in nonsensical rubbishes.  I concede that I need them sometimes, and twitter provides platform to aimlessly tweet anything that comes to mind - and no one would condemn me for saying stupid comments. It's just a tweet anyway, what so big deal?

5. It is the only place where I can "pick n choose" who I wanna follow. 

What an idea! It's no-brainer, why should I? In couple of occasions, some people whom I have no connection with, decided to follow me - and I let them to. But why in the world should I follow them? Twitter (unlike Facebook) is not based on reciprocal connection. Thus, you can follow me even though I refuse to follow you, and I'm not a jerk for doing that. 

I know I only wrote five reasons in the title, but I have an addition of one fundamental reason. Lastly, Twitter helps me to identify my deepest feelings and express them. For a person who is devoid of emotions like me, twitter gives me reasons to rummage through my cabinets of emotions and identify the one that is sitting on the driver's seat. It also helps me to challenge my espoused culture which discourages deluge of feelings. It took me a while to learn that expressing happiness, fear or care is okay, and that letting the world know about them is not unusual. Twitter, in all its simplicities, understands these. 

A Dollar a Day Keeps Happiness Away

I am who I am, not simply because of serendipity, but because of several significant experiences that shaped my belief, attitude and value. This life-changing experience that I am about to describe has helped me to realize that the pursuit of wealth and achievements does not, and never, translate into a deep sense of satisfaction.

During my senior high school (back in 2005), I went for a "live-in" program: a three nights stay in a secluded undeveloped village. The main purpose of the program is to hone our leadership skills by letting our big-city lifestyle rubs with the villagers' frugal lifestyle. There, I discovered this insight:

For sure, those people are less fortunate than most of us in so many ways; fewer money and possession, smaller chances and opportunities to earn big bucks, and lesser abilities and skills to be successful. Ironically, they have one thing that is missing in most of us: happiness.

Isn't that what matter the most? People climb the corporate ladder in hope of finding happiness at the top. People work around the clock to make sure their good performances will earn them a raise. Students work their head off to get into that billions dollar company. People do all such of things in the name of happiness.

Research has shown that the otherwise is correct and my experience confirmed it. Villagers are happier, firstly because they don't have to do things which actually make them unhappy. Isn't it an irony? In the process of pursuing happiness, we sacrifice happiness: family, friends, and health. I've heard many examples revolving around one similar pattern: loving husband putting countless hours to earn more income for his family. Halfway down the road, tension rises, house becomes cold, smiles become artificial, and relationship becomes sour.

Secondly, money never equals to happiness. Even if you manage to get rich without having to work your way up, true happiness is still out of reach. Villagers are happier living in a small house, working in a farm, and eating a meager meal.

Why?

Because they found the key to unlock the door to happiness: deep and meaningful relationships. Family sat together on the asphalt floor to enjoy their dinner. Father and son exchanged stories, mother and daughter laughed cheerfully. The conversation was seasoned with love. The atmosphere was so warm, so close, and so human. Neighbors came over for a late-night conversation over a cup of tea. Thousand stars joined in the conversation silently, and the gentle breeze spread the happiness around. A faint voice whispering inside me, "These uneducated and inconspicuous people have found it!!"

Simply stated, having less actually draws people closer. They are happier because they have less things to focus on: No worry about job security or stock market, no grudge when the discount ends, no temptation to buy new gadget etc. They simply focus on what they have: friends.

It appeals to humans' most basic nature, the need for others. Unfortunately, the pursuit of wealth often times deprives and desensitizes us from that most primal nature. Thus, it is good to strip our materialistic attributes off, and see our humanity in its naked form. Tell me if you see a pathetic and unhappy human. I saw it, thanks to the villagers.

Is Peace in The Middle East Foreseeable?

This is a topic that I came to care about not until recently - with no specific reason. Maybe the long and complex history of animosity between both nations have galvanized a sense of uneasiness within me - the cost of profound hatred, paid with the lives of millions, to defend and regain back identity as a human and nation, as promised by the Most High. 

Taking the risk of oversimplifying the complexity of this conflict, I highly doubt that both sides will ever coexist peacefully side by side in the disputed territories - Gaza & the West Bank. Although everybody know that a simple withdrawal from Israel back to its 1967 borders will solve the conflict, everybody know that it is unlikely to happen - if not impossible, at least for the last 60 years.

It's impossible because an inviolable divine mandate - traced back to 5,000 years ago - is the basic foundation for Israel to justify their invasion to the territories. Unfortunately, Palestinians will never submit to that condition as well. Hamas, whose goal is Islam sovereignty, will never stop using virulent attacks to force its agenda. Fatah, whose goal is a Palestinian state, will also never forget the pain and humiliation of Palestinians, banished from their own house. Fifteen years of peace initiatives also failed to neutralize - if not aggravated -  the conflict.

I'm neither proposing a second holocaust as a solution nor condemning diplomatic engagement as an approach, what I'm saying is the search for a two-state solution may not reach an end. It is an either-or problem, either Israelis or Palestinians settlement, and unless the diplomatic engagement stretch to that extent, hope is still our best virtue. A hope that, someday, no more rockets sounds are to be heard, no more terror on children, and no more blood need to be shed. A hope that, someday, peace is no more a hope but a true reality.